I miss writing. I miss making it a priority and I feel like I say that each time I sit down to actually write. I start writing things 20 times a day in my head but never make the time for myself to sit down and put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard?) to actually get it done. I always end up beating myself up too because this is my own form of journaling and if it’s not out here, it’ll be forgotten about altogether. But finally, here I am.

I’m taking today for throwback Thursday to remind myself of where I am coming from and the progress I’ve made. I’ve been working hard at Body Back with my kick ass trainer continually since my first session (I’m on session 5 now!) and have recently had a hard time coming to terms with myself. Between work, stress, kids…life…I have been harder on myself than ever before. There is something about having kids that changes literally every fiber of your being – some changes are welcome, others not so much. Some changes can be ‘fixed’ while others just take some getting used to.

Last month I ran in a Halloween 5k and kids fun run with the awesome women I work out with. I ran like a turtle trying to get through a mountain of peanut butter, but I ran and I finished. Caitlin and I earned our Pumpkin medals but on the way out, I was bummed out. I was mad at my pace and my finishing time and just overall unhappy. One of the most supportive women I workout with came up to me, completely unprompted, gave me a hug and told me how she’d didn’t forget how I was at my very first workout – how far I’ve come. I held back tears and walked to the car. I told Dave how frustrated I was with my pacing and motivation and he said something that stuck with me and prompted me to think about how I’m more than what the scale says…

“You’re talking about mile splits, Court”

He was right. Before, finishing just a mile was rough for me. But there I was, early Sunday morning after a run I voluntarily signed up for, looking at my pacing for each mile I ran. He pointed out that I do that after each run I do now, and he was right. I am rarely satisfied if I finish a workout under 3 miles now but not only that, I’m focused on things I never even knew about before, like my mile splits. Non-scale victory #1.

My strength has increased more than I ever thought it could. I have had to increase the weights I use in class and I do things I didn’t think my body would let me do before. Not only have I become physically stronger, I have also worked on my mental health more – part of our weekly goals are ‘me’ time and making sure we take care of ourselves because it’s so easy to push aside. Non-scale victory #2.

I feel better than I ever have before. I have never been skinny and I’m certainly not what everyone considers attractive and for the most part have have given up on worrying about that but, physically, I feel the best I ever have. I can go to work and then run around and play with my kids all day and keep up with them. I can get up early to go to class or for a run and then go on hikes with my family and not feel like I’m going to break in half. I signed up for a 10k in January. I wore shorts out to a football game and to walk around the zoo with my little man – that doesn’t sound like much but for me to feel like it was an option is huge. It still blows my mind that I feel this much better after having kids (because shouldn’t it be the other way around?!) but who cares because I love it and setting healthy examples. Non-scale victory #3.

Out and about in shorts which is normally way out of my comfort zone

So many things to be proud of and thankful for and, especially with the holidays coming up, I’m going to continue trying to keep a positive attitude even if the scale doesn’t show the exact number I wish it did 🙂

xoxo