All is Calm, All is Bright

How is it basically mid-December already?! It’s so cliché but oh, so true…the older I’ve gotten, the faster time seems to pass. As we’ve entered into the holiday “season” the rush of time is usually pressing and stressful and full of anxiety for me. Oddly enough, despite that, I’ve always loved the Christmas season. It’s like I get some sick pleasure out of seeing how stressed I can make myself while I try 23,584 Pinterest projects, home decorating ideas, and baking enough to feed a tiny army all the while wishing HGTV would call me up and offer me my own show. Because I clearly have enough time for that. I think I’m finally figuring it out. For now.

Time is flying! Already 22 weeks with our little man!

When I was pregnant with Caitlin, my OB and I got to know each other quite well.  At one of my Christmas time appointments she gave me some very wise advice….and I QUOTE:

“Stop trying to be Martha-fucking-Stewart”

 She called me out…Loud. And. Clear. She saw through the bullshit that I laid out in front of her. She knew that as much as I claimed to enjoy it, my body and my attitude were suffering. And, given that a tiny being was counting on me to be healthy, she played mom, called BS, and told me to get over needing to feel perfect. Well, ok then.

I guess it took a while to sink in. I spent that whole Christmas trying to make it perfect because it was our “last one without kids.”  Then, of course, last year was the “Caitlin’s first Christmas.” Which leads me to this Christmas…this is the “last Christmas Caitlin is an only child.”

….Seriously, what the hell is it with us parents and making up these crazy ideas that literally only we care about and stresses us out for just about no reason?? Are we all just mad?! Anyway.

I’m not sure what went differently through my mind this year. I have remembered my doctor’s words ever since she spoke them to me but for some reason this year I guess they “spoke” to me, however cheesy that sounds. (Now that I’ve mentioned cheese I really want some wine. C’mon, April!)

I did make one Pinterest project this year – a felt toddler tree!

I didn’t want this holiday season to be stressful, I just wanted it to be different. I wanted to enjoy the special time with family. I wanted to feel content. No channeling my inner Martha this year. So, come Thanksgiving, I didn’t rush to make Dave dig out the tree and the decorations like I usually do. We sat on the couch, completely stuffed with turkey and dessert and watched Elf.  I started digging things out a few days later when I had time. No rush. Our tree is up, but not decorated. We’ll do it soon, but it’s actually pretty enough the way it is. We started putting up lights outside and didn’t finish the same day. Miraculously, the world DID NOT END! Amazing, right?! I also realized how easy it is to make this time of year about simply spending money and I don’t want to be the family that does that. I heard on the radio the average family spending in the US was close to $1,000 for Christmas. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some pretty presents (hello, Coach store!) but that seems a bit extreme.  My own little way of combating this was focusing on what this season is actually all about…Jesus being born. I don’t talk much about my faith because it’s so personal but I decided to take more time to think about the Advent season and what it truly means. I purchased an Advent journal meant for busy moms and have spent a little time each day reading passages, reflecting on different topics, and praying. This is one of the first Decembers that I feel so stress free…I’m giving the kudos for that one to my very purposeful Advent reading…as well as Amazon Prime…seriously, you can get anything there without even having to get dressed. A-MAZ-ING!!

I hope everyone is finding some peace as the time quickly passes to the end of the year. To those crafty perfectionists who have a Pinterest to-do list a million miles long,  just keep repeating the wise words of my dear doctor: You don’t need to be Martha-fucking-Stewart!

Thanksgiving 2015


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