It’s hard to avoid conversations or shopping lists that don’t revolve around gifts this time of the year. We become what feels like hyper-focused on finding the perfect gift for those in our life and spoiling everyone around us. This year, Dave and I took it easy on gifts and tried to focus on the details of those we love and focus on quality over quantity. Needless to say, this is the least stressed I have been in many years. With a full heart, I have spent some time reflecting not on the gifts that I am giving, but that I have actually already received myself.
To my sweet girl…you have given me countless gifts since the day you entered my life. You won’t grow up knowing me as the Courtney I used to be because each day with you changes me, just a little bit. I guess that’s one of the best things about my favorite gift from you. You’ve shown me things and made me understood ideas that adults could not; I guess it just took the innocent heart of a loving child. Caitlin, you’ve given me a sense of NOW, one that I didn’t understand before having you in my life. You’ve shown me that it doesn’t matter what happened 5 minutes ago, 3 days ago, or what is going to happen in a week. You put your all, your full heart, into what you are doing IN THIS MOMENT. There is no worry about the past, and you’re not in a rush to get to the future. Do you know how admirable that is?! I struggle to find that balance of being present yet wanting to take pictures and remember everything special so perfectly…ironically, those only take away from enjoying what’s happening at this very moment. Thank you, sweet girl, for helping me see that living in the moment means going with the flow, and being flexible. It means giving myself some grace by throwing out my ideas of perfection and finding the perfect within whatever chaos ensues (and with a toddler there will most certainly be chaos!). It means loving you, everyone, right NOW, and not worrying my life away. It means forgiving, accepting, and loving with my whole heart. Thank you for your gift.
To my best friend, my husband…you’ve given me the gift of adventure, love, patience, and so many others. My favorite? Parenthood. You’ve gone on this journey with me where we started bright-eyed and excited beyond belief. Our ship sailed seamlessly. We worked together when the storms hit; fighting our way through those rough patches that we never knew would happen until we had a child. We struggled, failed, succeeded, and celebrated together all to just start the next storm again. Our ship has seen clear sunny days just to be bounced off jagged, rocky cliffs the next. We’ve learned so much together. We’ve loved together. We made it to shore just to decide that every single storm was worth it and we’d do it all over again (maybe we’re crazy). Thank you for giving me these moments that have formed me as a mother, as a parent. Thank you for being vulnerable with me when our ship was sinking and we tried everything we could to keep it afloat. Thank you for making me a mom.
**Parts of this post were written and used as an application to become a featured blogger for one of my favorite babywearing brands. Whether I am chosen to represent them or not, I am so very grateful for this platform to be able to share my thoughts with everyone and I truly appreciate those of you who take the time to read about my crazy life!**
I hope everyone is having fun choosing, shopping for, or making gifts this holiday season and that you can all take some time and reflect a little on some of the gifts you’ve already been given that might not be so tangible.